I resolve to ...
...live within my means, wean myself off credit, and read the fine print of my mortgage papers
- The American Consumer (and his government)
...take a vow of poverty
- The New York Yankees
...park the private jets
- Big Three Auto Makers
...keep one eye on the world, the other on Bill-particularly at 3 am
- Secretary of State Nominee Hillary Clinton
...get a license and pay my taxes
- Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher
...support the "Palin for 2012" movement
- Actress Tina Fey
...get stronger binoculars so I can keep an eye on them Russians.
- Alaska Governor Sarah Palin
...think with my brain
- John Edwards
...serenade John with Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats
- Elizabeth Edwards
...teach fish to swim
- Olympian Michael Phelps, winner of eight gold medals
...remember that "shooting from the hip" isn't supposed to be a literal thing
- New York Giants receiver Plaxico Burress
...put a trigger lock on the scissors
- Britney Spears
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